Week #13 Season XXX Dec. 10, 2019

BSFL BULLETIN BSFL CHEWIN CUD BSFL RECORDS BSFL TEAMS BSFL CHAMPS SPORTS TROUGH
WN ROTARY BSFL RULES BSFL HALL OF FAME BSFL HISTORY RINO BOWL NCW ATHLETICS
WGA SCHEDULE WGA ROSTERS WGA SCORECARD WGA RULES SAND TRAP KNOWS BOWL


Tenderloin Bowl XXX
Chiggers crimp
Whackers, 26-16

BUFFALO, NY - With a ninth BSFL title in plain sight, the Chiggers were up by ten points into Monday primetime and had to watch running back Miles Sanders, the Whackers' last man standing, try to snatch the Tenderloin Cup from Chatham's grasp. Sanders, though, wasn't able to do diddly with just 45 yards rushing and 24 receiving.

The Chiggers didn't have anything specatacular going on...but they did have production from most of the lineup. Tenderloin Bowl MVP Julian Edelman, Chatham's most consistent performer throughout the season, grabbed tosses for 95 yards including a post toaster. Dak Prescott was on target in the funzone once among 334 yards, Nick Chubb toted the turd for 106, and Chris Carson added 76 pounding the turf. Although Cooper Kupp only latched on to air balls covering 45 yards, one blinked the scoreboard, and DK Metcalf sticky fingered air biscuits for 78 yards. Wil Lutz booted 10 important points 'tween the tines as well. The Chiggers outgained the Whackers in total yardage, 769-584.

Wenatchee needed something special from Patrick Mahomes. It didn't happen as his ho-hum 283 yards passing with one pilfered and only a single trey among them shows. Allen Robinson did manage to manhandle two strikes in the promised land, but fell short with just 48 yards. The 'Whack Attack' defense kept the Whackers within striking distance paced by Chandler Jones' strip sack and passer plants apiece by Bud Dupree and Preston Smith.

And so, the most unlikely title in BSFL history that would have been the case no matter which team won, went the way of the Chiggers.




Porterhouse Bowl XXX
Eddies eviscerate
Pirates, 34-30

MOOSE JAW, SASK. – Disappointment felt by the Eddies' inability to pull off an unprecedented BSFL title threepeat was tempered somewhat as they eviscerated the once swaggering, now staggering, Pirates. Porterhouse Bowl MVP Aaron Jones came to play by turning in his best game of the season, lugging the nut for 134 yards including a paydirt pack, and also caught tosses for 58 more. Todd Gurley contributed a TD tote among 79 yards as well. Even though Lamar Jackson didn't seem very potent with just 145 yards passing with one to the other guys, and 40 on keepers, he managed to be on target for three in the endzone. George Kittle and Mike Evans each caught scoring strikes among 67 and 61 yards respectively. This season's top BSFL defender, T.J. Watt, picked off an errant aerial and Justin Houston smooshed the quarterback to hold down Montana.

The Pirates, indeed, staggered as normally productive Russell Wilson took a step backward by only throwing for 245 yards without a scoring completion and had one picked off. Still, Montana was in it as Harrison Butker hot-footed 11 points through the uprights. Although Christian McCaffrey couldn't poke anything through the invisible plane, he palmed 82 yards worth of passes and zig-zagged for another 53 on the ground. Chris Godwin glommed on to air balls for 91 yards to go along with fellow receivers Amari Cooper, who welcomed flying pig snouts for 83, and Calvin Ridley, who hauled-in 76 yards worth with both counting celebration catches. Dalvin Cook cashed a paycheck on the ground among carries for 62. Defensively, Joey Bosa with a pair of pancakes and Dante Fowler with a sack and a half helped to drag the Eddies closer. Montana outdistanced Seashrein in total offense, 733 yards to 644.




Sirloin Bowl XXIX
Nunya numb
Rats, 38-30

MULE SHOE, TX – The Nunya won going away as Zach Ertz came through with a pair of scoring grabs among 91 yards to overcome a one point deficit under Monday night lights and secure a Sirloin Bowl victory.

As good as Ertz was, Sirloin MVP Derrick Henry was even better by producing 103 yards worth of ground prime including two goal line crossings. Travis Kelce, despite being a tight end, lined up in the backfield and bulled four yards into the funzone and also held on to strikes for 66. The 'No Way, Jose' defense on the other hand, didn't produce squat.

Northgate was close and actually dominated in total yardage, 710-566. Ave. Rat bigheads acquired Joe Mixon way back on November 21st, but never put him into their starting lineup...until now. Mixon responded by dashing for 146 yards including a deposit into the ATM. DeAndre Hopkins also helped build a lead in a big way by snatching an aerial in lalaland among 120 yards. The Rats were trapped by Tom Brady's lackluster 169 yards passing with one swiped by a defender and only a single scoreboard blinking completion.




Hamburger Bowl XXX
Bashers bean
Marauders, 40-23

HUMPTULIPS, WA – The Marauders had to wonder what hit them. Spaethcadet bigheads put Jameis Winston into the lineup instead of Drew Brees - all the Hamburger Bowl MVP did was chuck the tater all over the lot for 456 yards including four to the house, although three were misfired to the other guys, and also took a keeper in for a sixpack. To back him up, the skin was slipped to Ezekiel Elliott who dipsy-doodled twice to paydirt among 81 yards. For the fun of it, Michael Thomas snatched air biscuits for 134 yards including a zone zinger, Stefon Diggs caught some more for 92, and Danielle Hunter pulled down the quarterback three times. As would be expected, the Bashers outdistanced the Marauders in total yardage, 899-665.

Despite Deshaun Watson throwing for 292 yards including once for a post toaster, and adding two to tango on keepers among 44 yards rushing, the Marauders just couldn't keep up since nobody else was able to get anything into the endzone. David Montgomery lugged the loaf for 86 yards, and both Tyler Boyd and D.J. Chark held on to snouts through the air for 75, but otherwise all Manhart could do was punt. It would have been even worse if Aaron Donald hadn't dealt a sack and a half, and Trey Flowers another.






ALL-BS TEAM


QB:
Russell Wilson
Pirates
12 games - 3,227 yds passing, 304 yds rushing - 105 pts (Avg.: 268.9 yds passing, 25.3 yds rushing - 8.8 pts); 2nd time all-BS.
RB:
Christian McCaffrey
Pirates
12 games - 1,092 yds rushing, 645 yds receiving - 106 pts (Avg.: 91.0 yds rushing, 53.8 yds receiving - 8.8 pts); 1st time all-BS.
RB:
Derrick Henry
Nunya
11 games - 1,095 yds rushing, 95 yds receiving - 84 pts (Avg.: 99.5 yds rushing, 8.6 yds receiving - 7.6 pts); 1st time all-BS.
WR:
Michael Thomas
Bashers
12 games - 1,301 yds receiving - 67 pts (Avg.: 108.4 yds receiving - 5.6 pts); 1st time all-BS.
WR:
Mike Evans
Eddies
11 games - 1,068 yds receiving - 63 pts (Avg.: 97.1 yds receiving - 5.7 pts); 2nd time all-BS.
WR:
Chris Godwin
Pirates
11 games - 987 yds receiving - 50 pts (Avg.: 89.7 yds receiving - 5.6 pts); 1st time all-BS.
PK:
Harrison Butker
Pirates
12 games - 107 pts (Avg.: 8.9 pts); 2nd time all-BS.
DF:
T.J. Watt
Eddies
12 games - 36 pts (Avg.: 3.0 pts); 1st time all-BS.
DF:
Chandler Jones
Whackers
12 games - 31 pts (Avg.: 2.6 pts); 3rd time all-BS.
DF:
Cameron Jordan
Nunya
12 games - 25 pts (Avg.: 2.1 pts); 2nd time all-BS.
DB:
Jamal Adams
Pirates
12 games - 30 pts (Avg.: 2.5 pts); 1st time all-BS.


TOP COWPIES

QB: Jameis Winston, Bashers

18 pts
RB: Derrick Henry, Nunya 13 pts
WR: Zach Ertz, Nunya 9 pts
PK: Harrison Butker, Pirates 11 pts
DF: Danielle Hunter, Bashers 6 pts



BSFL STUD

Jameis Winston
Bashers
Quarterback

Chucked the tater all over the lot for 456 yards
including four to the house, although three were
misfired to the other guys, and also took
a keeper in for a sixpack.


BSFL DUD

Russell Wilson
Pirates
Quarterback

Took a step backward by only throwing for 245
yards without a scoring completion and
had one picked off.


TEAM STAT BULLS

TOTAL OFFENSE: Bashers 899 yds

PASSING: Bashers

491 yds

RUSHING: Eddies

253 yds

RECEIVING: Pirates

345 yds
DEFENSE: Whackers & Pirates 7 pts

BUNWARMER
OF THE WEEK

Jimmy Garoppolo
Pirates
Quarterback
13 points

Wore a headset instead of a brain bucket
while Russell Wilson took a step backward


FOR THE RECORD

- 2019 Most Valuable Player -

Christian McCaffrey
Pirates
Running Back
2018 Travis Kelce WR-te Grasshoppers
2017 Antonio Brown WR Marauders
2016 Le'Veon Bell RB Elites
2015 Odell Beckham WR Chiggers
2014 J.J. Watt DF Casualties
2013 Peyton Manning QB Grunts
2012 Tom Brady &
Von Miller
QB
DF
C-Men
Chiggers
2011 Wes Welker WR Marauders
2010 Michael Vick QB Casualties
2009 Chris Johnson RB Sylvesters
2008 Justin Tuck DF Equis
2007 Tom Brady QB Marauders
2006 LaDainian Tomlinson RB Blowhards
2005 Shaun Alexander RB Chiggers
2004 Peyton Manning QB Grunts
2003 Torry Holt WR Hardrockers
2002 Priest Holmes RB Hardrockers
2001 Curtis Martin RB Waterskippers
2000 Robert Smith RB Chiggers
1999 Stephen Davis RB Marauders
1998 Terrell Davis RB Chiggers
1997 Terrell Davis RB Bashers
1996 Terrell Davis RB Chiggers
1995 Emmitt Smith RB Bashers
1994 Steve Young QB Marauders
1993 Jerry Rice WR Eddies
1992 Emmitt Smith RB Waterskippers
1991 Derrick Thomas DF Chiggers
1990 Jerry Rice WR Chiggers
- 2019 Rookie of the Year -

Chris Godwin
Pirates
Wide Receiver
2018 Patrick Mahomes QB Nunya
2017 Alvin Kamara RB Killer Bees
2016 Ezekiel Elliott RB Chiggers
2015 Todd Gurley RB Elites
2014 Emmanuel Sanders WR Casualties
2013 Josh Gordon WR Equis
2012 J.J. Watt DF Saltamontes
2011 Cam Newton QB Blowhards
2010 Arian Foster RB Saltamontes
2009 Ray Rice RB Sylvesters
2008 Jay Cutler QB Salmonbellies
2007 Adrian Peterson RB Sylvesters
2006 Adrian Wilson DB Eddies
2005 Osi Umenyiora DF Blowhards
2004 Javon Walker WR Blowhards
2003 Dwight Freeney DF Chiggers
2002 Julius Peppers DF Chiggers
2001 LaDainian Tomlinson RB Marauders
2000 Daunte Culpepper QB Waterskippers
1999 Stephen Davis RB Marauders
1998 Randy Moss WR Doughboys
1997 Dorsey Levens RB Bashers
1996 Mark Brunell QB Chiggers
1995 Curtis Martin RB Nitwits
1994 Terry McDaniel DB Waterskippers
1993 Renaldo Turnbull DF Chiggers
1992 Ricky Watters RB Hardrockers
1991 Steve Young QB Hardrockers

- 2019 NOTEWORTHIES -

BSFL Individual Records Set or Tied -
No new records were set

2019 Leaders -
Team Season Passing Yards - 4,132 - Chiggers
[ranks 5th all-time] / Record - 4,633 - Eddies, 2018

Team Game Passing Yards - 491 - Bashers v Marauders
[Hamburger Bowl] / Record - 510 - Marauders v
Sylvesters, 2012

Individual Season Passing Yards - 3,477 - Dak Prescott, Chiggers [not ranked in top 10] / Record - 4,060 - Peyton Manning, Grunts, 2013

Individual Game Passing Yards - 463 - Dak Prescott,
Chiggers
v Pirates / Record - 510 - Eli Manning,
Marauders
v Sylvesters
, 2012

Team Season Rushing Yards - 2,506 - Pirates
[not ranked in top 10] / Record - 3,158 - Casualties, 2003

Team Game Rushing Yards - 267 - Marauders v Eddies /
Record - 456 - Chiggers v Fleas, 1992

Individual Season Rushing Yards - 1,095 - Derrick Henry, Nunya [not ranked in top 10] / Record - 1,579 -
Terrell Davis
, Chiggers, 1998

Individual Game Rushing Yards - 188 - Derrick Henry,
Nunya
v Whackers / Record - 296 - Adrian Peterson,
Sylvesters
v Blowhards, 2007

Team Season Receiving Yards - 3,944 - Pirates [not ranked in top 10] / Record - 4,482 - Eddies, 2018

Team Game Receiving Yards - 550 - Pirates v Chiggers /
Record - 626 - Grunts v Sylvesters, 2013

Individual Season Receiving Yards - 1,301 - Michael Thomas,
Bashers
[ranks 7th all-time] / Record - 1,435 - Calvin Johnson, C-Men, 2013

Individual Game Receiving Yards - 226 - Amari Cooper,
Pirates v Chiggers / Record - 329 - Calvin Johnson,
C-Men
v Bashers, 2013

Team Season Defensive Points - 82 - Pirates
[not ranked in top 10] / Record - 120 - Casualties, 2004

Team Game Defensive Points - 17 - Rats v
Bashers
/ Record - 28 - Blowhards v Eddies, 1996

Individual Game Defensive Points - 12 - Jamal Adams-db,
Pirates v Marauders / Record - 18 - DeAngelo Hall-db,
Casualties
v Blowhards, 2010 & Ronde Barber-db, Grunts
v Chiggers, 2006


Team Passing Team Rushing Team Receiving Team Defense
Chatham 4,132 Montana 2,506 Montana 3,944 Montana 82
Wenatchee 4,001 Seashrein 2,405 Northgate 3,639 Ephrata 76
Montana 3,653 Spaeth 2,156 Chatham 3,571 Seashrein 73
Ephrata 3,562 Manhart 2,115 Ephrata 3,375 Northgate 64
Manhart 3,390 Chatham 2,076 Spaeth 3,367 Wenatchee 64
Northgate 3,388 Ephrata 1,967 Wenatchee 3,289 Chatham 56
Spaeth 3,266 Wenatchee 1,846 Manhart 3,093 Manhart 55
Seashrein 2,609 Northgate 1,177 Seashrein 2,986 Spaeth 55
Individual Passing Individual Rushing Individual Receiving Individual Defense
Prescott, Chiggers 3,477 Henry, Nunya 1,095 M.Thomas, Bashers 1,301 TJ.Watt, Eddies 36
Wilson, Pirates 3,227 McCaffrey, Pirates 1,092 Evans, Eddies 1,068 Chan.Jones, Whackers 31
Watson, Marauders 3,157 Elliott, Bashers 1,018 Godwin, Pirates 987 J.Adams-db, Pirates 30
Mahomes, Whackers 2,888 D.Cook, Pirates 997 Jul.Jones, Nunya 985 Jordan, Nunya 25
Rodgers, Rats 2,426 Fournette, Whackers 907 Cooper, Pirates 948 Hunter, Bashers 24
Ryan, Nunya 2,327 L.Jackson-qb, Eddies 902 Kelce-te, Nunya 901 Donald, Marauders 23
L.Jackson, Eddies 2,210 Ingram, Marauders 730 Edelman, Chiggers 897 Clowney, Rats 23
Brady, Nunya 1,235 Chubb, Chiggers 698 Hopkins, Rats 832 Barrett, Chiggers 21
Brees, Bashers 1,048 C.Carson, Chiggers 692 Lockett, Marauders 830 Buckner, Rats 21
Rivers, Rats 956 Jacobs, Bashers 631 Boyd, Marauders 772 J.Bosa, Pirates 20
QB Scoring RB Scoring WR Scoring PK Scoring
L.Jackson, Eddies 120 McCaffrey, Pirates 106 M.Thomas, Bashers 67 Butker, Pirates 107
Watson, Marauders 109 D.Cook, Pirates 85 Evans, Eddies 63 Tucker, Whackers 105
Wilson, Pirates 105 Henry, Nunya 84 Cooper, Pirates 51 Lutz, Chiggers 98
Prescott, Chiggers 82 Elliott, Bashers 68 Edelman, Chiggers 51 Zuerlein, Bashers 87
Mahomes, Whackers 80 Gurley, Eddies 59 Godwin, Pirates 50 Gould, Nunya 54
Rodgers, Rats 75 Ingram, Marauders 58 Kelce-te, Nunya 47 Lambo, Marauders 48
Ryan, Nunya 50 Fournette, Whackers 42 Lockett, Marauders 43 Maher, Rats 43
Winston, Bashers 27 Chubb, Chiggers 38 Jul.Jones, Nunya 43 Myers, Eddies 41
Goff, Chiggers 24 A.Jones, Eddies 38 Golladay, Chiggers 42 Gay, Nunya 38
Brees, Bashers 23 Michel, Rats 36 Hopkins, Rats 41 Bailey, Marauders 25
Brissett, FA 23 C.Carson, Chiggers 34 Kupp, Chiggers 37 Bryant, FA 25





BSFL BULLETIN BSFL CHEWIN CUD BSFL RECORDS BSFL TEAMS BSFL CHAMPS SPORTS TROUGH
WN ROTARY BSFL RULES BSFL HALL OF FAME BSFL HISTORY RINO BOWL NCW ATHLETICS
WGA SCHEDULE WGA ROSTERS WGA SCORECARD WGA RULES SAND TRAP KNOWS BOWL