Week #14 Season XXXII Dec. 28, 2021

BSFL BULLETIN BSFL CHEWIN CUD BSFL RECORDS BSFL TEAMS BSFL CHAMPS SPORTS TROUGH
WN ROTARY BSFL RULES BSFL HALL OF FAME BSFL HISTORY RINO BOWL NCW ATHLETICS
WGA SCHEDULE WGA ROSTERS WGA SCORECARD WGA RULES SAND TRAP KNOWS BOWL


Tenderloin Bowl XXXII
Pirates plunder
Eddies, 41-32

BUFFALO, NY - So what if the Eddies had had their way with the Pirates in two previous meetings this season, winning both by a combined score of 62 to 39? This time, it was for all the marbles so Montana bigheads put the attack in the hands of Tenderloin Bowl MVP Aaron Rodgers who went limping about his business, broken little piggy be damned. He proceeded to fire a trio of salvos to the mast among 268 yards to send Seashrein down to Davy Jones's locker. Rather than being overpowering, the Swashbucklers' attack was brutally efficient. The only attacker with very impressive stats was that Christian guy...not Fletcher...but Kirk who glommed on to passes for 94 yards including one to celebrate. Others turned ho-hum yardage into rummy delight as exemplified by Ezekiel Elliott's turd tote to the promised land among 52 mundane yards, receiver Deebo Samuel's deposit into the treasure chest, not by grabbing for gold, but by dancing on a sweep among 29 yards, and Stefon Diggs's puny 35 yards receiving made meaningful with a post toaster. The 'Yo-Ho-Ho' defenders, paced by TJ Watts's sack and a half and Harrison Buckner's passer pancake and forced coughup kept the Eddies at bay.

Seashrein outgained the Butte crew in total yardage, 808-643, but lost the paydirt count, 4-7. Patrick Mahomes accounted for most of the Eddies' plane penetrations by connecting three times in lalaland among chucks for 410 yards. Jonathan Taylor tallied the only other scoreboard blinker while lugging the loaf for 170 yards but only able to make a single deposit in the breadbox. George Kittle sticky fingered air biscuits for 93 yards without getting anything onto the poop deck. And so, the Eddies' attempt for a sixth Tenderloin title went down with the ship.




Porterhouse Bowl XXXII
Rats ram
Chiggers, 22-14

MOOSE JAW, SASK. – The Chiggers were totally spent holding a three point lead under Covid induced Tuesday night lights. Unfortunately for Chatham, Northgate's player yet to be counted turned out to be Cooper Kupp who went off to earn Porterhouse Bowl MVP honors by welcoming incoming tosses for 136 yards including twice to the funzone.

The Ave Rats weren't exactly touchdown dynamos entering the Tuesday night finale. The only other housecall going Northgate's way was a zone zinger by Kyler Murray who otherwise mailed it in with a garbage time enhanced 257 yards passing. Although Dalvin Cook wasn't able to poke anything over the goal line, he did dodge for 89 yards on the ground. Even though the 'You Dirty Rat' defense only had a pass pilfer by Trevon Diggs and a passer plant by Brian Burns to brag about, it was certainly more than what Chatham had going defensively. The Ave Rats barely nosed out the Chiggers in total offense, 578 yards to 569.

Chatham closed out the 2021 BSFL season with five consecutive defeats. During the course of the campaign, the Chigger bighead left more points on the sideline, 339 to be exact, than any other team - a whopping 68 more than the next most retarded user of roster talent. Only two players deserve mention in Porterhouse Bowl action - Tyreek Hill, who caught keepers for 148 yards including a trey, and James Robinson, who rambled for 75 and caught a scoring strike. The rest were either dead weight having sniffed too much Raid, or were on the Chatham bench.




- UPDATED RESULTS -Sirloin Bowl XXXI
Whackers wilt
Bashers, 22-21

MULE SHOE, TX – With the Whackers up by eight into a Tuesday night showdown, it would be their own receiver, Van Jefferson, against the Basher quarterback, Matthew Stafford, and defensive tackle Aaron Donald. Donald had an all important smoosh for the 'Spaethcadet' defense that narrowed the margin, and Stafford lofted a pair of toasters among 244 yards to get Spaeth within a point of tying it up. Van Jefferson, on the other hand, didn't pee a drop for the Whackers with catches for just 23 yards. But still, Wenatchee was able to hang on for the dubya.

Wenatchee had two gridders who came to play and a bunch more who didn't. Nick Chubb was good to go and went off on rambles for 91 yards including once over the threshold to earn Sirloin Bowl MVP honors. The other playing for keeps was Keenan Allen who manhandled a housecall among 78 yards.

The Bashers plodded along in the Whackers' rearview mirror primarily thanks to scoreboard blinking grasps by Justin Jefferson, among just 47 yards; by Davante Adams, among a paltry 44; and by mail carrier Aaron Jones among a weenie 12 receiving and 58 rushing. The Bashers outgained the Whackers in total yardage, 544-500.




Hamburger Bowl XXXII
Nunya noogie
Marauders, 41-23

HUMPTULIPS, WA – The Nunya suddenly came to with Hamburger Bowl MVP Travis Kelce leading the way by hauling-in aerials for 191 yards including two to tango. Although Justin Herbert only connected for 236 yards, he was able to put even more distance between Ephrata and Manhart by throwing two for threes and adding a keeper for a sixpack on his own. Brandin Cooks added to the margin by cashing a pair of paychecks palming passes among 102 yards. The Nunya ground troops were productive, too, as Austin Ekeler found the five hole among 59 yards before being nicked, and Javonte Williams dodged and bulled for 72. The Nunya outgained the Marauders in total yardage, 740-425.

Quarterback Kirk Cousins set the tone for Manhart by completing for just 87 yards - but among them, two were scoring strikes and one was intercepted. That about says it all for the Marauders, except tightend Mark Andrews who exploded for 136 yards squeezing the skin including two toasters. Quandre Diggs pilfered a pass and Joey Bosa had a strip sack to keep things from getting even more out of hand.






ALL-BS TEAM


QB:
Justin Herbert
Nunya
13 games - 3,721 yds passing [all-time 11th most], 285 yds rushing - 123 pts (Avg.: 286.2 yds passing, 21.9 yds rushing - 9.5 pts); 1st time all-BS.
RB:
Jonathan Taylor
Eddies
13 games - 1,462 yds rushing [all-time 6th most], 276 yds receiving - 136 pts [all-time 6th most rb] (Avg.: 112.5 yds rushing, 21.2 yds receiving - 10.5 pts); 1st time all-BS.
RB:
Derrick Henry
Marauders
7 games - 879 yds rushing, 135 yds receiving - 82 pts (Avg.: 125.6 yds rushing, 19.3 yds receiving - 11.7 pts); 3rd time all-BS.
RB:
Austin Ekeler
Nunya
13 games - 732 yds rushing, 558 yds receiving - 92 pts (Avg.: 56.3 yds rushing, 42.9 yds receiving - 7.1 pts); 1st time all-BS.
WR:
Cooper Kupp
Ave Rats
13 games - 1,517 yds receiving [all-time record] - 93 pts [all-time record] (Avg.: 97.2 yds receiving - 7.2 pts); 1st time all-BS.
WR:
Justin Jefferson
Bashers
13 games - 1,264 yds receiving - 69 pts (Avg.: 97.2 yds receiving - 5.3 pts); 1st time all-BS.
WR:
Davante Adams
Bashers
12 games - 1,192 yds - 64 pts (Avg.: 99.3 yds receiving - 5.3 pts); 1st time all-BS.
PK:
Justin Tucker
Ave Rats
13 games - 105 pts (Avg.: 8.1 pts); 3rd time all-BS.
DF:
Myles Garrett
Whackers
13 games - 35 pts [all-time 10th most dl/lb] (Avg.: 2.7 pts); 2nd time all-BS.
DF:
T.J. Watt
Pirates
13 games - 34 pts (Avg.: 2.6 pts); 3rd time all-BS.
DF:
Nick Bosa
Pirates
13 games - 32 pts (Avg.: 2.5 pts); 1st time all-BS.
DB:
J.C. Jackson
Eddies
12 games - 28 pts [all-time 7th most db] (Avg.: 2.3 pts); 1st time all-BS.
PIRATES PLUNDER TO TITLE


TOP COWPIES

QB: Patrick Mahomes, Eddies

13 pts
RB: Jonathan Taylor, Eddies 10 pts
WR: Travis Kelce-te, Nunya 13 pts
PK: Greg Zuerlein, Whackers &
Evan McPherson, Eddies
9 pts
DF: 5 tied with 3 pts



BSFL STUD

Travis Kelce
Nunya
Wide Receiver-te

Hauled-in aerials for 191 yards including
two to tango.


BSFL DUD

Tom Brady
Chiggers
Quarterback

Stumbled backwards without a scoring strike
while only completing for 214 yards
with one picked-off.


TEAM STAT BULLS

TOTAL OFFENSE: Eddies 808 yds

PASSING: Eddies

410 yds

RUSHING: Eddies

234 yds

RECEIVING: Nunya

357 yds
DEFENSE: Pirates & Marauders 6 pts

BUNWARMER
OF THE WEEK

Jalen Hurts
Ave Rats
Quarterback
15 points

Benched as Kyler Murray only hit one in
the endzone among 257 yards with another
misfired to the other guys.


FOR THE RECORD

- 2021 Most Valuable Player -

Cooper Kupp
Ave Rats
Wide Receiver
2020 Travis Kelce WR-te Chiggers
2019 Christian McCaffrey RB Pirates
2018 Travis Kelce WR-te Grasshoppers
2017 Antonio Brown WR Marauders
2016 Le'Veon Bell RB Elites
2015 Odell Beckham WR Chiggers
2014 J.J. Watt DF Casualties
2013 Peyton Manning QB Grunts
2012 Tom Brady &
Von Miller
QB
DF
C-Men
Chiggers
2011 Wes Welker WR Marauders
2010 Michael Vick QB Casualties
2009 Chris Johnson RB Sylvesters
2008 Justin Tuck DF Equis
2007 Tom Brady QB Marauders
2006 LaDainian Tomlinson RB Blowhards
2005 Shaun Alexander RB Chiggers
2004 Peyton Manning QB Grunts
2003 Torry Holt WR Hardrockers
2002 Priest Holmes RB Hardrockers
2001 Curtis Martin RB Waterskippers
2000 Robert Smith RB Chiggers
1999 Stephen Davis RB Marauders
1998 Terrell Davis RB Chiggers
1997 Terrell Davis RB Bashers
1996 Terrell Davis RB Chiggers
1995 Emmitt Smith RB Bashers
1994 Steve Young QB Marauders
1993 Jerry Rice WR Eddies
1992 Emmitt Smith RB Waterskippers
1991 Derrick Thomas DF Chiggers
1990 Jerry Rice WR Chiggers
- 2021 Rookie of the Year -

Justin Herbert
Nunya
Quarterback
2020 James Robinson RB Chiggers
2019 Chris Godwin WR Pirates
2018 Patrick Mahomes QB Nunya
2017 Alvin Kamara RB Killer Bees
2016 Ezekiel Elliott RB Chiggers
2015 Todd Gurley RB Elites
2014 Emmanuel Sanders WR Casualties
2013 Josh Gordon WR Equis
2012 J.J. Watt DF Saltamontes
2011 Cam Newton QB Blowhards
2010 Arian Foster RB Saltamontes
2009 Ray Rice RB Sylvesters
2008 Jay Cutler QB Salmonbellies
2007 Adrian Peterson RB Sylvesters
2006 Adrian Wilson DB Eddies
2005 Osi Umenyiora DF Blowhards
2004 Javon Walker WR Blowhards
2003 Dwight Freeney DF Chiggers
2002 Julius Peppers DF Chiggers
2001 LaDainian Tomlinson RB Marauders
2000 Daunte Culpepper QB Waterskippers
1999 Stephen Davis RB Marauders
1998 Randy Moss WR Doughboys
1997 Dorsey Levens RB Bashers
1996 Mark Brunell QB Chiggers
1995 Curtis Martin RB Nitwits
1994 Terry McDaniel DB Waterskippers
1993 Renaldo Turnbull DF Chiggers
1992 Ricky Watters RB Hardrockers
1991 Steve Young QB Hardrockers

- 2021 NOTEWORTHIES -

BSFL Individual Records Set or Tied -
Individual Season Receiving Yards - 1,517 - Cooper
Kupp, Ave Rats
/ Old Record - 1,485 - Calvin Johnson,
C-Men, 2013

Individual Season Wide Receiver Points - 93 - Cooper
Kupp, Ave Rats
/ Old Record - 87 - Randy Moss,
Eddies, 2006

2021 Leaders -
Team Season Passing Yards - 3,991 - Nunya / Record -
4,633 - Eddies, 2018

Team Game Passing Yards - 445 - Whackers v Eddies /
Record - 510 - Marauders v Sylvesters, 2012

Individual Season Passing Yards - 3,721 - Justin Herbert,
Nunya
[ranks 11th all-time] / Record - 4,060 -
Peyton Manning,
Grunts, 2013

Individual Game Passing Yards - 445 - Dak Prescott,
Whackers
v Eddies / Record - 510 - Eli Manning,
Marauders
v Sylvesters
, 2012

Team Season Rushing Yards - 2,845 - Marauders
[ranks 7th all-time] / Record - 3,158 - Casualties, 2003

Team Game Rushing Yards - 324 - Marauders v
Eddies & Ave Rats v Pirates
/ Record - 456 - Chiggers v
Fleas, 1992

Individual Season Rushing Yards - 1,462 -
Jonathan Taylor, Eddies
[ranks 6th all-time] /
Record - 1,579 -Terrell Davis, Chiggers, 1998

Individual Game Rushing Yards - 205 - Dalvin Cook,
Ave Rats
v Pirates / Record - 296 - Adrian Peterson,
Sylvesters
v Blowhards, 2007

Team Season Receiving Yards - 4,437 - Bashers
[ranks 4th all-time] / Record - 4,482 - Eddies, 2018

Team Game Receiving Yards - 483 - Whackers v Ave Rats /
Record - 626 - Grunts v Sylvesters, 2013

Individual Season Receiving Yards - 1,517 -
Cooper Kupp, Bashers
[new record] / Old Record - 1,435 -
Calvin Johnson
, C-Men, 2013

Individual Game Receiving Yards - 206 - Davonte Adams,
Bashers v Pirates / Record - 329 - Calvin Johnson,
C-Men
v Bashers, 2013

Team Season Defensive Points - 98 - Eddies
[ranks 4th all-time] / Record - 120 - Casualties, 2004

Team Game Defensive Points - 20 - Pirates v
Nunya
/ Record - 28 - Blowhards v Eddies, 1996

Individual Game Defensive Points - 12 - J.C. Jackson-db,
Eddies v Nunya & DeForrest Buckner, Pirates v Ave Rats /
Record - 18 - DeAngelo Hall-db,Casualties v Blowhards,
2010 & Ronde Barber-db, Grunts v Chiggers, 2006


Team Passing Team Rushing Team Receiving Team Defense
Ephrata 3,991 Manhart 2,845 Spaeth 4,437 Seashrein 98
Seashrein 3,905 Northgate 2,708 Ephrata 3,897 Montana 90
Chatham 3,902 Seashrein 2,463 Chatham 3,666 Wenatchee 84
Montana 3,898 Chatham 2,326 Northgate 3,664 Chatham 70
Spaeth 3,808 Wenatchee 2,007 Wenatchee 3,624 Ephrata 67
Wenatchee 3,757 Montana 1,977 Montana 3,557 Northgate 57
Northgate 3,366 Spaeth 1,659 Manhart 3,303 Manhart 53
Manhart 3,264 Ephrata 1,597 Seashrein 3,274 Spaeth 47
Individual Passing Individual Rushing Individual Receiving Individual Defense
J.Herbert, Nunya 3,721 J.Taylor, Eddies 1,462 Kupp, Rats 1,517 M.Garrett, Whackers 35
Mahomes, Eddies 3,715 N.Chubb, Whackers 934 Just.Jefferson, Bashers 1,264 TJ.Watt, Pirates 34
Rodgers, Pirates 3,354 D.Cook, Rats 929 D.Adams, Bashers 1,192 N.Bosa, Pirates 32
J.Allen, Chiggers 3,109 D.Henry, Marauders 879 Godwin, Whackers 998 JC.Jackson-db, Eddies 28
Prescott, Whackers 3,007 N.Harris, Marauders 846 T.Kelce-te, Nunya 990 T.Diggs-db, Rats 27
K.Murray, Rats 2,750 Mixon, Rats 844 T.Hill, Chiggers 981 Hendrickson, Chiggers 25
L.Jackson, Marauders 2,647 E.Elliott, Pirates 829 S.Diggs, Pirates 938 Donald, Bashers 22
Stafford, Bashers 2,548 Ekeler, Nunya 732 K.Allen, Whackers 907 L.Floyd, Nunya 22
R.Wilson, Bashers 1,260 L.Jackson-qb, Marauders 681 J.Chase, Eddies 815 Reddick, Nunya 21
T.Brady, Chiggers 793 Kamara, Whackers 585 M.Evans, Chiggers 800 J.Bosa, Marauders 21
QB Scoring RB Scoring WR Scoring PK Scoring
Rodgers, Pirates 128 J.Taylor, Eddies 136 Kupp, Rats 93 Tucker, Rats 105
J.Herbert, Nunya 123 Ekeler, Nunya 92 D.Samuel, Pirates 82 Carlson, Nunya 96
J.Allen, Chiggers 114 Mixon, Rats 71 Just.Jefferson, Bashers 69 Butker, Pirates 91
Mahomes, Whackers 93 E.Elliott, Pirates 67 D.Adams, Bashers 64 Bass, Marauders 86
K.Murray, Rats 78 D.Henry, Marauders 58 M.Evans, Chiggers 57 Zuerlein, Whackers 85
Stafford, Bashers 71 D.Cook, Rats 55 T.Hill, Chiggers 55 M.Crosby, Bashers 73
Prescott, Whackers 66 N.Chubb, Whackers 52 S.Diggs, Pirates 55 Succop, Eddies 57
L.Jackson, Marauders 64 A.Jones, Bashers 51 T.Kelce-te, Nunya 51 Joseph, Chiggers 45
T.Brady, Chiggers 26 Kamara, Whackers 50 Godwin, Whackers 48 McManus, Chiggers 43
R.Wilson, Bashers 25 J.Robinson, Chiggers 35 K.Allen, Whackers 44 Koo, Whackers 28





BSFL BULLETIN BSFL CHEWIN CUD BSFL RECORDS BSFL TEAMS BSFL CHAMPS SPORTS TROUGH
WN ROTARY BSFL RULES BSFL HALL OF FAME BSFL HISTORY RINO BOWL NCW ATHLETICS
WGA SCHEDULE WGA ROSTERS WGA SCORECARD WGA RULES SAND TRAP KNOWS BOWL